Off all day he decided to choose on my first working day after 3 months of my maternity leaves.For the first time ever he can turn by himself, but I am not there to witness the miracle. This kind of stuff, demotivate me to keep on working 9-5. The fact that I will miss every of his ‘first’achievement. First turn, first crawl, first laugh, first word, first step and so on. Sad lah! I’m his mother I should be there and witness every of his ‘first’ of every little thing. Seriously I’m in dilemma. I wanna quit my job and be a fulltime housewife. I wanna take care of my own offspring. I feel like I’m a bad mother sending my baby to my mom during my working hours. ( but in the mean time my lil sis is taking care of my liil one) Bad mother! But then again, I’m a coward. I’m scared that I will not have the power of purchasing if I quit it. And I think I’m a bad mother if I can’t give the best life to my son. Argghh I just wish I can have both. Maybe I should pray harder and think harder.
p/s : The only best feeling that I enjoy going to work is that 15minutes ride from my home to office. Because I can de-stress by singing out loud to my favourite tunes! And when i got home i get to see and cuddle with this cheeky lil fella! <3